Mila's Birth Story!

June 11th had arrived. It was my due date and I had made it to 40 weeks pregnant. Something I never thought I would see this pregnancy walking around 4cm/80% effaced and Mila sat at a 0 station for 2 weeks in my second pregnancy. I had a midwife appointment and things were still what they were the weeks before. I was never discouraged as I knew my body was gearing up and my little miss just wasn't quite ready and I was okay with that. I guess I was just antsy and was so curious to see how everything goes was going to happen. I questioned everything. How long will labor be? Will I be able to get my water birth? How big will she big? What will she look like? Well you get the point. After my appointment I asked a few last minute questions and hoped Jane would be the midwife on call to help deliver Mila into the world. I took it upon myself to spend as much time as possible with Liam. We had a park date and even picked out a few new toys together. I was starting to get really emotional knowing he wasn't going to be my only baby. Contractions had really picked up that evening as well as a back ache and cramping. I knew it wouldn't be much longer so I tried to rest as much as possible. The next day June 12th, I nested and did as much stuff as I could around the house and was sure to rest up and spent time with Pat and Liam. I also told Pat that day to start his 2 week FMLA leave as I felt and had felt the last month of my pregnancy she would be born on the strawberry full moon on Friday the 13th. Liam too was a full moon baby and while it's just a myth, I believe in it fully. So the car was ready, bags were packed, and now I awaited the next day to see if my intuition was right.

It was Friday June 13th. I awoke at around 4am, as I did with Liam's labor, to more intense cramps and a backache. I also noticed I started to lose more plug and have my show. I tried to get comfortable in bed with the boys but I needed to move and allow gravity to play it's part in labor. I carried the body pillow and heating pad downstairs and put them onto the chase section of the couch. I was unable to get more rest because I knew today was the day. I wanted to speed things along and not stall them so instead of lying on the couch I began to bounce on the ball and do squats. I texted and messaged a few friends and began to tell myself I'm not crazy this is truly happening. Contractions began getting longer and stronger. I paged the midwife for the first time around 6:30 am and let her know how I was feeling.  She then told me I didn't sound in pain and that it was probably the start of labor but not to ignore my body. She said rest and eat while you can and she said she would call me in 2 hours. After I got off the phone with Jane I began to meal prep for Liam and called my mom and told her to come on over. I also snacked on watermelon and berries. I sipped on some cinnamon bun tea and honey and just let my body do its thing. During contractions I would brace myself onto the counter or table, hang my head and just hum. During my breaks I would resume to singing along with I heart radio, and continue cooking Liam's Mac and Cheese for his lunch. I found comfort listening to Tracy chapman radio. I have always loved her music and sound. "Baby can I hold you" came on and so did my emotions. It was very likely I would get to hold my baby girl tonight. I smiled and became teary eyed and kept about my duties in the kitchen.

My mom then arrived with a cup of ice water from Starbucks. Being a mother she wore a look herself as she look at me in pain. She had worries but I didn't want any of those in my head so I stayed in my mindset...which takes you out of this world when you are in labor and you don't mean to but you shut out things around you and focus on yourself and how to keep calm. We chatted and just hung out around the house. The midwife then called and I told her my surges were more frequent, longer, and stronger but not in a pattern. She told me she believed I was in labor and wanted to meet at the birth center about 10:30 to check me and possibly break my water. My mom called my sister to head on over as she was going to watch Liam while my mom, pat and myself were gone. The boys were still upstairs sleeping and it was now about 9. I heard a loud bang and realized it was Liam who had fallen off the bed. The poor boy was fine but I began smothering him with love as these where the last hours of just him. I told Pat it was baby day and he went about his morning as I got Liam some cereal and put on Disney junior. I was still laboring at home and getting things and myself ready for the day. My sister arrived with Kendal and it was time to go. Tears rushed down my face as I picked up Liam and told him that I loved him so much and would be bringing baby home. This was the last moment I had with him as an only child. We took a family photo and it was to the birth center.

The car ride was quiet. I was all emotions and sniffles. This day I waited for since October 2nd was finally here. I would be meeting my sweet little june bug today. I only had one contraction the whole car ride and I just sat through it. We pulled up and brought in our bags and met our birthing assistant Gabby and Jane the midwife in the birthing suite. She checked me and I was at 6cm and 90% effaced and Mila was below engaged at a +1 station. Jane told me this was indeed labor and that we should go about breaking my water. We discussed the pros and cons and she showed me the tool and before I knew it there went my water. It was clear and I had plenty. I insisted on walking over to Starbucks but jane told me to hang around a bit and wait for contractions to start. Now Pat this whole pregnancy had joked of a 2 hour labor and it was one I laughed at having had an 18 hour labor with Liam. I was prepared for 6-8 hours maybe. What was about to happen shocked me. I got my first contraction since having my water broke in the doorway. I leaned into it and just hummed and moaned and stood still. They really intensified and I had to throw myself onto the bed. Gabby put Norah Jones on for background music and although I really don't like her, I found it relaxing. To be honest I probably only heard it a few seconds. I now lay face down into a pillow with pat rubbing my back with the tennis ball. Surges where very frequent and very strong and the midwife suggested I stay and labor in the suite and not venture over to Starbucks and sound like whatever I sounded like in labor. My mom walked over and grabbed me another ice water for labor. Jane just by the sound of my mother's song during contractions, told gabby to fill the tub and my mom to ready the video camera. I know I only had 4cm to go but was I an hour into labor and already so close to meeting Mila?

The midwife told me to find comfort in the tub. It was warm and very soothing. They helped me in as Pat changed into his swim trunks.  I changed positions every break I had as I could not find one that I found comfort in. Gabby applied cold towels to my face and neck and Pat offered me ice water in between every contraction. Throughout this time I was in transition and everything is blurry from here on out. I began to get hot and hopped out of the tub. Jane checked me at  9cm almost 10cm and fully effaced. I just had a tiny lip of cervix that needed to move to a long Mila into the birthing canal. She suggested the birthing stool to let gravity work with my surges. This part of it all was probably the worst.  Every other contraction, I began to start bearing down little bits at a time while Jane would manually move the lip of cervix out of the way. It was extremely painful but after about 15 minutes Jane told me to get into the tub. I had no sense of time nor did I know what time it was. Surges were so frequent and painful I didn't want to move from where I was at. I was then walked to the tub.

Pat sat on the ledge as I laid my head back into his lap and he held my shoulders. I held his thighs to brace myself up into a crab walk/ squatting position in the tub. I was never coached to push I just did so when it felt right. Pushing felt so good but with it comes more pain. I felt Mila coming down and out. Jane told me I made labor look good. She said something along the lines of shiny hair and rose cheeks. Again I had tunnel vision and hearing and that's all I remember. Pat and my mom also complemented me during my whole labor but I was to focused to respond so I would usually nod or moan. So back to pushing...it was in these last few minutes that I would be pregnant. It was coming to an end. I was focused on my prize. My sweet Mila. Each push I could feel her. I finally heard I see her head. I wish I could remember more of this moment but it's a blur...but I do have video footage! A few pushes later and there she was at 12:40pm- less then 2 hours after arrivimg at the birth center and getting my water broken. So Pat's 2 hour labor joke he told me my whole pregnancy was no joke. It became reailty. I lifted her up out of the water. All I could say was "oh my god oh my god". I had to register what I had just accomplished.  I had done it and finally gotten my water birth. It was ever typing I could have asked for. I stare at my baby girl covered in vernix with a head full of hair! I remember saying "she's so cheesy"! I began to cry happy tears and my husband gave me sweet kisses. My mother stand back smiling and taking pictures and telling me things I don't recall because I was in the euphoric moment. Something that cannot be explained but only felt. They had to get Mila's lungs going but she let out her first cry. Jane then massaged my belly and it was time to deliver my placenta nd out it came within 15 minutes. I sit there in the tub and snuggle Mila as her cord continues to pulse. The midwife even told me to feel it and that was pretty awesome. My mom cut her cord and it was to the bed to get Mila and I comfortable and checked out.

I tore right alongside where I did with Liam as Mila too was born with her hand at her head. It was not avoidable but I didn't need stitches! Pat held Mila as I got my vitals checked and then I started to breastfeed Mila. Pat went out and got me a Starbucks blueberry scone in which I inhaled along with gatorade. It was time to get Mila checked out. She had an Apgar score of 9 and everything looked great! Now came measuring her and her weight. Now this pregnancy I had only gained 32 lbs and hardly showed for it. I still have no idea where I hid Mila. She was 8 lbs 8ozs and 22 inches long! A big baby and weighed more and was longer then Liam. I was shocked! We passed everything on the to go home list at the birth center and after just 3 1/2 hours at the birth center we headed home with our sweet girl. Mila has been a great newborn. She is a great nurser and loves her beauty sleep. I'm already getting 3-4 hour stretches and about 6-8 hours a night with 2 tandem nursing kids in our king bed! Yep, I'm nursing 2 and bed sharing with 2! It's work but it's so sweet to see Liam interact with his sissy as they both nurse. We are finally getting the hang of things with 2 kids. Everyone has been so helpful and my recovery has been speedy. I seriously do not feel I just gave birth but still need rest to recover even though I feel like superwoman. I just have 12lbs to lose and I'm only 10 days postpartum. I can button size 5 jeans and hope to be in my size 3's very soon. So in all I look and feel great for just having had a big baby! So there you have it. The story of me bringing our sweet girl into this world. Things could have not been more perfect. I plan on editing and sharing some of her birth as well to help encourage and empower woman. Show them what they are capable of. To embrace childbirth and pregnancy and not fear it. To inspire. To surrender. ♡

All about Liam!

This blog is so overdue! Where do I begin?! Liam is just a few days shy 15 months! I cannot believe it. This past year has just been so amazing and has brought so much joy, happiness, and meaning to life. I never knew how much you could love someone until Liam came along(Yes, I am still madly in love with my husband). While there are hard days and nights, I am constantly reminded and tell myself that this too shall pass...and very quickly. In the blink of an eye my newborn became a toddler. Here are some highlights of Liam's first year.

March 8th, 2012 at 7:42 pm Liam Timothy Shumate was born. He was 7lbs 14oz and was 21 inches long. He scored a 9 on his APGAR! I was over the moon and so in love! Breastfeeding was a challenge but I can proudly say Liam has only had 1oz of formula ever and loves mommy milk. He learned things quickly from rolling over, to sitting up, pulling up on things, to crawling and even walking and running at just 10 months old! He began to cut teeth at 6 months and continues-he now has 5 almost 6! His hair is really coming in now and I just cant seem to cut his little mullet curl he has now! Its too cute. We found out about allergies such as milk/dairy, eggs, and peanuts and I am now vegan because of it. So many first to even write about we would be here forever! Please follow our YouTube channel- LShumate1010/Lindsey Shumate if you want to get in depth on all those things. :)

Liam is just the most perfect son. I cant imagine life without him. As of now Liam is a sucker for the park and the outdoors! He loves to be outside and hates when its time to come in or leave. He also loves his pool, and water table along with splash pads, and sprinklers! Anything water really including the bath! He goes crazy over vacuum cleaners. He also has to be in my arms when Im brewing my coffee/tea in the keurig. I give him the keurig cup and he shakes and smiles before I put it in. Another thing he has to be included in is blowdrying my hair. When I aim it at him he dances. Its so adorable. I will also add Liam's favorite movie is Wreck it Ralph. We watch it anywhere from 1-3 times a day. No joke. He enjoys Yo Gabba Gabba, Team Umizoomi, Henry Hugglemonster, Bubble Guppies, Jake, and Mickey on TV. He loves to dance. We read books daily and his favorite toys are trains, balls, and his play kitchen. His favorite foods are avocados, beans, berries, apples, pears, and almond butter- he eats it by the spoonfull! There are more but the list is just to long. I will add smoothies. He goes bonkers over a cup with a straw because he thinks its one! He loves to play around with his daddy on the couch. He also enjoys working out with me. Gramma's house is pretty awesome too. He loves the puppies and the lawn mower my dad is always on. He also loves playdates with all my fellow mommies kiddos! Liam is the best snuggler I know-shhh even better then the hubby.

He just does the sweetest and cutest things that always have me smiling, thanking God, and it helps remind me that I am bringing him up well and not to worry or think otherwise. Every mommy is different and makes the best choice for their kids. He still has had no vaccines and at his last visit he weighed 22lbs was 32in tall and his head was 46cm! We still breastfeed and co sleep and enjoy it and will continue to. There isnt anything I would do for him. He is my sonshine- no thats not a spelling error. There is just so many things missing in the post and I know I should have written this blog sooner but I vlog so it makes up for it.  :)

Liam's birth story.

The day before I gave birth to my dear son I had a midwife appointment for a stress test and ultrasound to make sure everything was going well with Liam. All was great. I was 3cm, 80% effaced, and Liam sat at a 0 station at 41 weeks pregnant. After my pelvic check, my midwife Nancy swept my membranes without me knowing until she removed her hand full off blood and mucus and said " and that's sweeping the membranes". Nancy has been a midwife for 25+ years and really knew her stuff. She told me that I would have Liam in the next few days. I didn't believe her as I was already a week late and thought I would be pregnant forever! That night we ordered pizza, made sure the bags were packed, and watched TV until midnight. If I could go back, I would have slept the second I got home from my appointment! I went to bed and wasn't expecting what happened next...
I woke up before 4am and had very bad cramping and had to go to the bathroom. I didn't throw up but my body emptied itself in other ways. So after 15 minutes in the bathroom I found myself sweating, and was now shaking. I walked out to the living room to tell my mom what I was feeling and grabbed a glass of water and crawled back into bed. As soon as I wrapped my body around my body pillow I got my first surge or as you may know contraction. I had slept 4 hours and just knew this was not a false alarm. I shook my husbands shoulder and told him he better get to work and then get his butt back home. We then snuggled in bed as I continued to have surges about 1-4 minutes apart and held his hand and breathed through them. Patrick looked me in the eyes, tucked my hair behind my ears and said "I love you". He then hurried out of bed and peeled out in his camaro and left for work.
I continued to labor at home with my mom. I had now moved to the couch with my body pillow, heating pad, and a bowl as I felt very queasy. I lay there and the surges continued and grew stronger and stronger. I vocalized through every one of them and saved my energy. I would make "oooh's, ahhh's, and mhmm's". Noises that were deep and helped loosen my lips. To my neighbors, I probably sounded like a dying farm animal. After keeping track of my contractions and them being 2-4 minutes apart, it was time to call Nancy and alert her that today we would be having our dear son. She told me to continue to labor at home until my surges were constant and not so spaced. So I continued to lay on the couch as my uterus took over my body and mind. I would occasionally get up to use the bathroom and pace around the apartment until I was forced to grab the nearest object to support my body on as my body was consumed. My surges were now coming more regularly and grew stronger. I then began to think to myself, I'm crazy for doing this naturally until I looked over at his ultrasound photo. I then smiled and said to myself I can do it.  After my husband returned home, he loaded the bags in the car, while I called Nancy and it was time to head to the birth center.
I dreaded the car ride but it wasn't that bad. Probably because my husband turned the hazard lights on and flew down the parkway. I grabbed overhead and held onto my "ohh s&#*" bars in my car, and continued to be vocal and sing my "mothers song" as the midwives called it. We pulled into the birth center and walked in. Not even a minute in the lobby we heard another woman in labor. I continue to lean on my husband arms wrapped around him or on any close sturdy object as waves continued to consume me. Minutes later we heard the woman scream and then applause followed by a baby cry. I had just heard a woman give birth, something I would be doing that same day. I was filled with emotion and my eyes welled up. I looked over to my mom who started crying and then my husband who just had a look I had never seen him wear before. Heidi the nurse said they had to prepare our birth suite and get the family who just delivered settled before we started with me, so she suggested we walk around the building and eat something. I had half a banana and sipped powerade between surges. So Pat grabbed my hand and we started walking. I continued to smile and talk to my husband about the coming moments of meeting our son. I walked and walked and stopped when I couldn't move. The birthing center was now open for scheduled appointments and people started to pull up while I labored in the parking lot. I bet I scared a few women. I was still very vocal and swayed my hips leaning on pillars and my car while people entered and left the birthing center. I entered the lobby and It was now time to get hooked up to the monitor to see how Liam and my body were handling labor.
The pink and blue straps hugged my belly, Pat held my hand and head, and my mom held the camera and took pictures. I listened to liams heartbeat and watched the number that recorded contractions go from the 40's to 120's until I couldn't. I hated laying there watching the results print out and listening to the machine. It reminded me of what I didn't want. Minutes later Nancy walked in removed the contraption and said everything looks great and welcomed me to active labor. She checked me and I was now at 4cm, and 90% effaced. I wouldn't be leaving here without my baby in my arms and I was excited. I had prepared myself for this moment and this was it. After walking around for over and hour, I could not wait to get back into my room. I threw myself on the bed with my arms wrapped around the birthing ball while my husband and mom unloaded the bags from the car.
It wasn't long before the surges grew more intense and frequent. I felt like my uterus was swallowing me whole. I had been so calm up until this point. My vocals grew and pressure started. I stripped down to just my sports bra and got in the shower. My husband changed into his swim trunks and was there with me the whole time. He rubbed my back, sprayed me with the removable shower head, held me, and encouraged me to stay strong while he looked me in the eyes. I could see the pain he felt from my labor pain in his eyes. I kneeled in the shower over a pull down bench with a cushion under my knees as the water soothed my back and stomach while I swayed my hips and sung my song of "oohh's, ahhh's, and mhmm's". After about 15 minutes of that after falling to my knees I needed to lay down. So I placed the cushion I kneeled on under my head and laid down. I felt lifeless. The water beaded and fell down my face. It was somewhat annoying but I could not take focus off of my surges. The midwife came in with the Doppler to check Liam and laughed as she found me in the shower lying down. She asked if I wanted to get in the tub and I said yes. You have to be  6-7cms to get im the tub otherwise your labor can hault. She checked me and I was 6cm and 100% effaced. I do not recall times as the clock wasn't something I stared at. The tub was filled and I hopped in. The pain was instantly lessened and I found comfort. The sound and feel of water really soothed me and my mind. I had a relaxation CD playing and just wiggled and swayed in the tub for a bit while Pat switched out ice cold washcloths for my forehead and neck. My mom sat in the rocking chair teary eyed seeing me in pain. I was drained and had no energy so I needed to eat. Pat cut me up and apple and dipped it in peanut butter. My mouth was so dry so the last thing I wanted was a huge chunk of PB. I went to spread it with my finger and it fell in the tub. We laughed and I continued to eat the apple that I hadn't dropped. I still was drinking water and powerade and sipped on a cup of apple sauce as well.
When I had to use the bathroom I would go and then shower before entering the tub as I was bleeding pretty heavily. One particular time after going potty I felt increased pressure. I began to become whiney. I had felt like I had been in labor forever and began to grow weak. I felt like a sidewalk who had tree roots growing up into it as it cracked. I was losing my state of mind. Not only had my surges taken over my body but now my mind. I couldnt think, find words, or even make choices. I felt like I needed to push so we got back into the tub and I tried. Well after 5 minutes of pushing the midwife recommended a check and that I save my energy. I was now 8cm and was still 100% effaced. Her and my nurse needed to turn Liam into a better position so that he would decend a little easier into the birth canal. Nancy kept her hand inside me on Liam's head while Heidi turned him pushing and rubbing my belly. After 15 minutes he turned and his back was now along my belly and not my left side. This is when things turned. As soon as Nancy removed her hands and I began to move to hands and knees to keep Liam in his new position my water broke. I was moving while I had a strong contraction so I imagined it as having a water balloon squeezed and then burst. I of course was in a different world then my mom and husband but from what I was told it was mostly blood and fluid. The nurse and midwife always had to change my underpads on the bed. I kneeled over the ball while Pat took the tennis ball to my back until I couldn't find comfort. Then it was back to the shower. I started to scream. The pressure and surges became more then I could handle. Everyone around me kept encouraging me and all I could do was respond with a very whiny "I'm trying". At one point my husband said I know and I told him "No, you don't know" and bursted into tears. I was not a mean, rude, cursing lady in labor but more so a whiny one. I am never one to be mad and angry and this wasn't the time. I stand in the shower held up by my husband as I whined to myself and had a conversation with my son in utero. I knew I was getting close. I would say things like "hurry baby boy, mama wants to meet you" and "I'm doing it, I'm gonna have my baby". Time passed and I was still pregnant.
I asked to be checked and I was 9cm! Only one left to go. I continued to labor everywhere I had listed and grew weaker and weaker until tears fell down my cheeks and my lungs and throat hurt. The nurse and midwife came in and said they think its time I try and rest. I went into this not wanting any interventions. I looked at my husband and mom and knew it was best. I had looked at the clock as the midwife gave me a shot in the hip of nubain. It was 6pm. I had been in labor 14 hours on 4 hours of sleep. I couldn't make decisions and was glad my midwife did that for me. I was also given a tincture under my tounge and snuggled in bed with Pat. I had a pillow between my knees, the heating pad on my back, and I was soaked with sweat and water. My husband rubbed my back with the tennis ball over the pad as I drifted off between contractions. During them I would talk, be vocal, or keep quiet and clench my toes and fists. 15 minutes after the shot I felt no different then before. I was supposed to be calm and sleeping even through contractions and I wasn't. The shot did nothing for me. I think that is when my mind and body really relaxed and I was able to fully dilate. I felt immense pressure that was worse then before but kept quiet as I didn't want to hear I was still 9cm. So I lay there whining to my husband and mom as I stare at the head board of the bed with heavy eyes as I had contractions every minute and my water and blood continued to gush out of me. I waited as long as I could and I couldnt take it. I had my mom call the midwife. I told her I need to push...I had been saying that for hours now though so I'm sure she thought I was crazy.
She checked me and I was 10cm! It was baby time. When she said that a flip switched in my head. I don't remember much of this part. I originally wanted a water birth but could not find myself to get up and walk to the tub. The midwife and nurse prepared their things as I looked to my husband and smiled. My mom stood at the foot of the bed taking pictures. It was time to push. I didn't want to birth in my back but in thay position I felt had the most control. I grabbed my knees, pulled them to my chest as Pat helped with my left side and began to push. I was not told or coached in my pushing. I just pushed when it felt right and when I had a strong contraction. It felt wonderful. After a few practice pushes I heard "I see his head". While pushing I grunted and put all my power into my behind. I wanted to meet my baby boy. Heidi grabbed me the oxygen mask to inhale between pushes and surges for a little boost. I grabbed the mask, pulled it to my face and huffed and puffed it down. Everyone in the room was saying things but it was going in one ear out the other. I had my eyes and mind on my prize. I blocked everyone out. Not intentionally, only because I was focused. Some more pushes and Nancy said " reach down and feel your baby", and I did. I then smiled and was handed a mirror and saw hair. I smiled and looked to my husband. I was just given a huge dose of motivation.
The next few minutes, every contraction I had I pushed and pushed. Nancy and Heidi applied mineral oil and hot towels in hopes that I wouldn't tear. I pushed with all my might until I heard "his head is out"! Then I took in a huge breathe of oxygen and pushed one more final time. I felt another gush as I pushed with a full bladder so that was relieved. With my chin to my chest, knees to my breasts, I screamed and before I could stop myself from screaming I heard my sons first cry as he was being placed on my chest. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on even though in his first minute of life he had peed and pooped on me. My first joys of motherhood right? I was full of smiles and euphoria. I felt no more pain. I had just accomplished natural child birth. I held him close and soaked up that moment with my husband. We were over the moon.
My mom continued to take pictures and wore a worried look on her face. I was so busy with my baby boy that I had no idea I lost 3 bed pans full of blood. I was then given an IV. The next thing to do was deliver the placenta. Heidi massaged my belly for a few minutes. After the cord stopped pulsing, it was clamped and my mom did the honors and Pat was basking in our son alongside me. It had been 20 minutes and after latching Liam and trying to deliver my placenta I had no luck. Liam was handed to my husband for some skin to skin cuddles as I wasn't done just yet. You have up to an hour to deliver your placenta before being rushed to the hospital. All was well with Liam but everyone started worrying about me and I was effected mentally. I began to turn a bit let down. I didn't want to be rushed away and pulled from my baby. I tried pushing and that didn't work. I was given more tincture under my tounge and Heidi injected the cut cord with pitocin to jumpstart my contractions so that we could get this out. After almost an hour and stressing I delivered the placenta just in time of being rushed to the hospital. Both my cord and placenta were irregular in shape and color but they did there job growing a perfectly health baby boy. I had a first degree labial tear as Liam was born with his left hand at his head. I was given some local anesthesic and was stitched up quickly but ouchie did it hurt. Worse then having a baby. It was just one single stitch. I also had a small perineul tear but it didn't need a stitch as it was so small.
Liam was born at 7:42pm weighing 7lbs 14oz and was 21 inches long on March 8th, 2012. I had the most amazing birthing experience and I will do it naturally as long as I have children. I will never forget that day. I don't feel like that same women. My family looks at me differently and so does my husband. I am Superwoman and there isn't a thing I can't do in this world. I am one proud natural mama. It as some of you would say crunchy but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Then comes a baby in a baby carriage!

It was spring of 2011. I was only 20 and had baby fever. Who wants a baby at that age you ask? Well I did. God had laid it heavy on my heart to start a family. I was a happily married woman, and my husband and I have careers and are financially stable, so my question was why not? So after some thought Pat agreed and we started trying end of May and early June. I had my cycle all charted and had been preparing my body for a change. So my fertile week came around and well, we all know how a baby is made so I won't go into that! So now the dreaded two week wait-which is the two weeks you wait to test or start your cycle, I went on about my life and thought nothing of it. Of course I was excited knowing I could be preggers but I just prayed to God, after all it was in his hands. I had tested June 18th, and 20th and got BFN'S- big fat negatives! With a box of three tests I had one more pee stick! Two days passed and I had no physically signs or sickness that people say you get pregnant.
My cycle was supposed to start that day. I was awoken at 3:30am and had a sudden urge to pee. So I crawled out of bed and went to the bathroom. Something was telling me to take my last test. I opened the drawer, removed the wrapper, and well peed on the stick. I waited two minutes, which seemed the longest of my life, peered over and to my surprise saw two lines! I could not believe that I had a new life growing inside of me! My husband woke for work and I told him the good news and he wore a smile that whole day. I won't get into my pregnancy as I vlogged the whole journey on YouTube. If your curious and want to learn about that, go to YouTube and search for LShumate1010 and you will find me!

In my 9 long months of pregnancy, I researched many topics and made some decisions. I knew I was going to become a natural mama or as some people call it "crunchy"! So what I wanted to cloth diaper, breastfeed, make liam's baby food, baby wear, and co sleep. I wanted the best for my son and I believe those are just a few of the wonderful choices I have made for his well being.
But the most important thing to me was his birth. I wanted a natural birth with a midwife. Did you know more women put more thought and dedication into their wedding then their child's birth? And if something goes wrong in their wedding its the end of the world but when an intervention is performed on a woman in labor she will say "well I got my end result". Well even if your DJ sucked at your wedding, your still a married woman right? Women need to know they have a choice and options when it comes to childbirth. To think that a medical team could take my power and plans away from me, breaks my heart. I had a very positive birth experience-which I will blog about next!- and just want to encourage and share with women that it doesn't have to be what you see on TV or what your friend, friends friend, mom, sister, aunt, grandma, or even in laws had or made it out to be. Every birth story is different and beautiful. I just wish women would make a choice, dare to be different, and educate themselves on birth in the US. I recommend watching the business of being born...that will change your outlook on your childs birth and you will learn so many things you never knew or thought about having a baby.

So for all you ladies trying, pregnant, or who already have little ones, please keep checking my blog. I will put my birth story into words and share with you the most amazing, unforgettable, and empowering experience of my life...the birth of Liam Timothy Shumate.

Then comes marriage...

The morning of October 22, 2010 was finally here. My wedding day! Although we were just having a courthouse wedding, I couldn't have asked for more. It was all about Patrick and I that day. Not a drunk family member, the band, or the colors we chose...just us and our love. I put my little white dress on, applied makeup, and curled my hair. I slipped my golden sparkly shoes on and frosted myself with jewelry and we headed to the Lakewood courthouse. After a wrong turn and traffic, I was the last to arrive and was late to my own wedding! Everyone was inside waiting. I walked in and caught first glimpse of my soon to be husband in his Class A's. He was so handsome in uniform. He caught glimpse of me pulled me in for a hug, joked about me being late, and told me I looked beautiful then he kissed my forehead.


We walked into the room full of friends, and some family. Pat and I stand there as an audience to everyone. The judge started the repeat afters. I was so lost in Pat's eyes that I was surprised I could even speak words clearly. How I felt in that moment was indescribable. All I could do was smile. Pat finished repeated the judge and it was my turn. He got to the last "Do you," and before he finished I exclaimed "I do"! The room lit up with laughter and I of course turned bright red. The judge finished his blabbing and I heard the cue words, "You may now kiss the bride". Patrick and I grabbed each other and kissed. Applause filled the room and we were now Mr. & Mrs. Patrick Shumate. We filled out the license, signed a few things and went outside to take some pictures as the sun was just beaming.

I could write so much more of the wedding but so much happened so quick that day. It was hard for Pat and I to comprehend what he had just done. We were so in love but it was just so surreal. For our "Honeymoon" we spent the weekend in Leavenworth. We played arcade games, mini golf, and soaked in the hot tub. It was very simple yet not that distracting so Patrick and I really got to spend time with each other and just laugh and enjoy ourselves. We also got old time western pictures done before we headed home to prepare for our 3000+ mile move. It's crazy to think this was 16 months ago. It seems like yesterday to me still. We have had our trials and triumphs as a married couple but those only brought us closer to each other. Pat and I do not believe in divorce and went into this saying through thick and thin and thats what we continue to do.

I love my husband more then anything in this world.

First comes love...

Pat and I were really serious about each other and we were spending every second together. Dinner and movie dates continued. Another week had past and the weekend was upon us. It was now October. Fall was in full swing but we were lucky to get some nice warmer over cast days. We decided to go to the Puyallup Fair. I had never been so he accomplished yet another date of something I had never done. We loaded up in the car and Paul and Corey, who were at the club the night we met, decided to meet us there.  It was another beautiful sunny day. I dressed in layers because the temperatures were above average. We got there and we all walked around. I got a yummy caramel apple and the boys rode rides, and played games. Patrick was determined to win me a huge stuffed banana bigger then me. And of course he did. Paul won a huge stuffed bull in which he continued to carry on his shoulders. We walked around the fair once more and headed back to Pat's place. We snuggled into bed and fell asleep.

The next day we were going to a birthday party for Patrick's friends daughters birthday at Charlie Safari. I was meeting more and more of his friends. We got there got signed up for laser tag and we played a few games. I had never played and it was so fun and I was surprised my team even won. We continued to play arcade games with tokens. I stuck to ski ball as that is what I was good at. We had pizza and ice cream and watched Lexi open her presents. There were so many kids and it started to get late. After the party was over we went back to Pat's place. I had stayed there all weekend. We walked in and I threw myself on his bed. I was so ready for a nap.

We both lay side by side. It was like any other night, I have to say I was shocked about what was to come. We were just enjoying each others company and talking. Patrick then said to me "Lindsey, I love you. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. The one I would like to spend the rest of my life with. Will you marry me?". I was at a loss for words.So much ran through my head. Was this real life? I looked in his eyed and I knew he was serious. I of course did not hesitate and said "Yes!". We took each other in arms and just embraced the moment. We were so happy. Every girl dreams of her proposal and wedding. I never thought in a million years I would be 20 and engaged. But here I was. Glowing and just awe struck.

I called my mom and shared the news on facebook and not everyone was as happy as I was. I know Pat and I had been together only a month and a half but it felt right. Patrick was my soul mate and still is and will continue to be for the rest of my life. I just knew it. The way he treated me was unlike any other and I knew I wasn't making a mistake. They say when you know you know. When Pat and I met I wasn't looking for love. And that is when they say love finds you once you stop looking. I am a firm believer in that statement. Sure everyone said I was young, foolish, and that I didn't know what I wanted. I am one to follow yet lead my heart. My heart and myself wanted this. I knew it was going to be tough. People were going to judge me but no one could take me off of cloud nine. Who was everyone to wave their fingers at me?

Patrick and I were busy the following week juggling work and getting wedding stuff arranged. He proposed on Saturday October 16th, 2010. We had set our wedding date to be Friday October 22, 2010. Yes, we were engaged and getting married in the same week! Between dress shopping, getting the marriage license, and getting last minute things figured out there was no time for rest. Pat and I still took heat from upset friends and family. A lot of people doubted us and thought this was a mistake. But in all Pat and I continued to wear huge smiles on each others faces and we shut out the world. Besides we were on a whole different world. We were both thrilled, in love, and excited to take this chance and risk everything. Family, jobs, and ourselves but we had no issues as that is what love does to you. It makes you do crazy thing you never imagined. Or saw coming. Or could have predicted...

More dates...

Patrick had taken me on many dates. So the order is just a blur, but there were so many great ones I have to write out that tell our story. Him and I were stuck like glue and crazy about each other. We worked full time all week and spent every second of the weekend together. Seattle was a favorite spot for us to get out and go to. The indian summer we had been having was turning into fall. He would pick me up and we would just drive and spontaneously decide what to do. Alki beach became a favorite and we spent a lot of time there. As Pat and I grew closer we ultimately had a decision to make. He had orders to PCS, which means permanent change of duty station, from Fort Lewis to Fort Stewart in just a little over a month. We would walk around the beach, find a spot in the grass and watch the day go by and the sun go down talking about everything and what was to become of us.

With all this serious talk being jumbled around your probably wondering when we got serious. It was a cool night on the beach. We stared at the city lights and and headed for the car to head back to my place. There was a dock and I decided to go down closer to the water before we left. Patrick followed. My mind couldn't take all these thoughts. I had to get rid of one of them. Patrick then came up behind me wrapping his arms around me and we stood there on the dock as the water crashed about. I had waited weeks for a kiss and I just couldn't resist. I turned around, threw my arms over his shoulders, and kissed him. It was the perfect moment. The wind picked up, and the moon and city lights looked so much brighter. We both wore smiles, grabbed hands and headed toward the car.

The ride home was quiet. It was late and my thoughts consumed me and I figured his did as well. I sat there thinking many things. Was this real? What am I to do? What is to become of us? We pulled up to my place. It was late and Pat and I were both tired but I didn't want our night to end. I leaned over and kissed him again and couldn't stop myself. I was addicted to him and I don't think I could have slept without him from now on. I then asked if he wanted to stay at my place. He gladly replied yes. We settled in and got comfortable. We had pillow talk and we agreed not to rush into anything more. He had never pressured me or done anything to go to far and I loved that about him. He wasn't like most guys. We snuggled and fell asleep in each others arms.

As I said earlier we loved spending time in Seattle. Our next date was to the Space Needle. I am deathly afraid of heights but I agreed to go anyway. It was a beautiful sunny day just perfect for going up to the top and looking out miles and miles. Patrick of course made fun of me being scared of heights.    The elevator ride was the least of my fear. My fear was going out and looking about. We opened the door to the observation deck to be greeted by a huge gust. We then walked around, took pictures, and just looked out as far as we could see. My hair continued to be tossed about as it was very windy. As scared as I was I had such a great time. We walked around the city that day and headed for dinner. Pat wouldn't tell me where we were going. We stopped at a beach in Point Defiance and took more pictures and talked about the future more until our reservation time came close. I don't remember the name of the place but it was water front and so romantic. Any dream date I had, if I would have had any, would have never been as good as the ones Patrick took me on.

We continued to spend every second we could with each other. Pat stayed at my place more, and I even stayed with him on Fort Lewis a few times. Weeks past and one particular night at his place we were hanging in his room watching transformers. Lost in talk, we had thrown around what was to come of us in the coming month. He was moving to Georgia. I had a family, and a great job. Though love makes you do crazy things, I could never imagine leaving all that behind. But the way Patrick cared for me and treated me blew my mind and I never imagined that. I kept an open mind to what was going to become of us. Later that night, he wrapped his arms firmly around my waist, brought me in for a kiss, looked me into the eyes, and said the three words. "I love you". I lit up like a christmas tree. I knew he meant it even though it had been a short few weeks since we met. "I love you too,"I said with a smile on my face. I meant it when I said those three words. It was just the thought of us only being together a few weeks that hesitated me. I didn't want to scare him away or make him feel awkward as things between us were so dreamy.

In between all the dates, dinners, and time spent at each others places, Patrick and I had fallen in love.